Eurostarlette

Hands up if you've ever travelled on Eurostar. I have. Several times in fact.

I must say it is a most civilised way of travelling. Plenty of space to get up and walk around. No harsh check in, at least if you don't fit into a profile- although I'm sure customs and excise would deny any such profile exists.

On the journey into London you majestically fly accross the northern French countryside at 300 kmh, outrunning storms, stopping only to pick up new passengers, only to get thrown out of your seat as the brakes are brutally applied coming out of the tunnel into south-east London, sorry Kent. This is, of course, soon to be rectified with the great "Channel Tunnel Link"- the first new line to be laid in Britain in more than a century! Which will bring the high-speed trains into the centre of the capital. At least the new link goes into King's Cross rather than Waterloo- not the best name for a station for trains arriving from France and Belgium...

But this isn't meant to be an analysis of the UK rail system.

As you wait for your train on a cold wet London morning an exotic voice from distant climes travels through the air to bang on your ear drum. Anyone who's waited in the Eurostar terminal at Waterloo has, I'm sure, noticed this.

The man who makes the announcement in English sounds like the speaking clock.

The voice that follows, however, is a sultry French female voice. Who is this woman? Where can I meet her?

Sexy enough to make you swap your bacon and eggs for a pain au chocolat. Even if you don't understand it (word to the wise, it's the same as the previous announcement!), it makes you want to break through customs and board the train. Only to suffer the three hour journey into central Paris, wondering if this woman will actually be there waiting for you on the platform at the gare du Nord. Once in Paris, you find, to your immense dissappointment, that it's her older brother who's making the announcements. The dream is shattered!

Ah! Paris!

Of course, it's not all la vie en rose...

If something goes wrong, you'll notice how a French team will say something like "Due to running problems in England, ...". In the same situation, an English team will say something like "Due to a cow on the track in France, ...".

Apparently, digging the tunnel, they had problems meeting in the middle. And, rumour has is the only reason "Concorde" was spelt with an "e" was because, without it, the name was considered to be too Anglo-Saxon. Concord, indeed!!!

Supposedly, back in the good ol' days of Empire, the Times of London ran a headline which said:

"Fog in the Channel; Continent cut off."

Now, at least, we can go under the fog, but there's still a barrier in many people's minds.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Waterloo...